Reasons why you should stop believing articles with this kind of title

                Lately, I’ve noticed that there seems to be a pattern emerging from blogs and articles. Most of them start like “15 reason why you should..”, “25 things about her/him..”, “10 questions that you should ask…”, “what _____ actually feels like so on and so forth. Although there are good reads among the thousands of articles that have the same flow, I find it irritating that most of them imply about how you should be or who you are supposed to be in this world. It’s starting to taste like the coffee I left on the table two days ago. Bland, cold and sometimes disgusting.

                Don’t get me wrong, though. I’ve written something similar to these types of articles, but that was way before it became a trend. I mean, you have people writing about who you’re supposed to be based on your zodiac sign like they know you inside and out. Some write about what you should “actually” feel about something as if their feelings are the standards of society. What the heck!? Most people would just agree and say that the writers are actually spot on. I beg to differ.

                I think what people see as “spot on” description of what and who they are and how they sould or shouldn’t feel, are just small things that they can relate to and not the entirety of their being or personality. The titles catch the attention of some of the unwitting and ignorant and then makes a general guess as to what these people are going through by putting a vague and very common introduction about sex, work, travel or whatever the current hot topic is, and then proceeds to enumerate characteristics of people who may have been going through the same roller coaster ride. Kind of tastes like sensationalism, but with a different recipe.

                After reading these articles, reposting, and getting enough likes and “I second the motion” comments, some suddenly feel the need to live their lives according to (or against) the portents of these articles. That could be a bad thing specially for the very emotional teens of this generation. Thus, causing more emotional or mental damage. But then again, these are just my assumptions based on how I see things. I could be wrong, entirely or I could be “SPOT ON”. Either way, there is an impact on the outlook of society.

                These articles will sometimes tell you that you should leave a relationship if this, that, and those conditions are visible or to leave your job if you feel this and you see that. Some articles would even suggest to cut your ties with friends who aren’t acting like they aren’t your friends anymore. I see the logic in a handful of these articles, but most are just the bandwagon of the previous 10 bandwagons, which implies the same thing with different words. Same dog, different collar.

                Some articles don’t need to be written for the simple fact that a person with common sense would already know or realize the obvious facts about the topic. Some are life realizations that can really help people who are going through similar trials, but most are just so hyped up that you won’t really see their point in making it. Most of it is just a ride on the cringe train. Nauseating.

                My point is that you are in command of your life, your thoughts, and your feelings. No one can ever tell you exactly who you are based on some star sign or some mediocre study or some “feelings” coming from another person half a world away. You may find some similarities, but that’s all they will ever be unless you want them to be more. They are good sources of entertainment and good for passing time. I, for one, am not very fond of these articles. Well, not anymore. So, like all these articles, here’s a disclaimer; you can take them with a grain of salt or believe in them. It’s all up to you.

 

Paul Hoover 

5/5/2017

A Threesome with the Social Network

How personal is your relationship with your partner?

One time, me and my girlfriend were hanging out in a coffee shop. We were enjoying each other’s company. We were laughing and talking and laughing some more. We shared stories and a few jokes. There were silent moments that didn’t really last over a minute, but we spent those moments exchanging smiles and loving glances at each other. After we finished our drinks and the food, we just stayed there and continued our conversation. An hour later, another couple entered the coffee shop. It was a really small coffee shop so you’ll notice all the comings and goings in the place. Anyway, the couple went straight to the counter and placed their orders. They sat near our spot and waited for their orders to be served. Me and my girl recognized the couple as our schoolmates. But we weren’t really paying that much attention. We went on with our warm and lively conversation. After a few more minutes, i noticed that the other couple already had their order served and were starting to eat the slice of cake. They were facing each other while eating the cake. But what i really noticed was that they were both nonchalantly tapping on their smart phones. They weren’t even looking at each other. Me and my girl also noticed that they weren’t really talking to each other. They barely said anything. They were wearing bored and apathetic masks.

For a few minutes, me and my girl observed the couple like undercover agents. We weren’t surprised to see that they were still squeezing on their phones while eating the cake like they existed in two opposing worlds. It was as if they weren’t really together. It was such a sad scene.

“a couple that’s just out of order”

That’s the best description i can come up with because that’s exactly how i saw it. My girl basically had the same opinion. We assumed that they were both on some kind of social network app on their phones. I think the guy was on facebook because i saw him scrolling through his news feed. Me and my girl came up with the same conclusion. This particular couple was having a threesome with facebook/twitter/instagram. If I’m not mistaken, a few months ago i saw their status saying how much they were in love with each other and how thankful they were for each other. But it just didn’t make any sense when i saw them in that coffee shop. From the looks of it, it’s more like they’ve just about had enough of each other. It seemed liked they were on the verge of giving up. It’s as if they were just barely trying to hold up their relationship. All those sweet and thoughtful words that i saw them posting on facebook just wasn’t that real at all. From our point of view, they were really bored of each other’s company. And i’d say it was just pitiful. I suddenly realized that these social networks aren’t really needed in a relationship except maybe for communication purposes. But only on a certain level. Like, if you’re thousands of miles away from each other. So i turned to my girl and suggested that whenever were out on a date, we should leave our phones and the social network out of it. She totally agreed with that idea. It makes so much sense.

“A healthy relationship has no sign on facebook.”

I’m not sure if that’s exactly how it goes, but I’m sure you get the point. It’s that simple. I believe that a serious romantic relationship should only be between you and your partner. I was once guilty as charged. But if you think about it hard enough, “NEWS FLASH: this just in. The world doesn’t really care!” makes sense. Right? A relationship should be on a very personal level. Write a letter for your partner and read it out loud while you’re at it. Sing to them. Serenade them. Dance for them. Let the hugs and kisses not be superficial XOXO’s. Give it to them personally and make them feel it with their own body. Let them hear that your heart truly  beats for them. That’s the only way for you to make sure that the person you are in love with really does feel how much loveyou have for them.

I have nothing against those who choose to express and profess their love on line. My point is

“face to face, skin to skin, and holding hands

is a thousand times better than

facebok to facebook, screen to screen, and holding emoticon hands.”

P.Hoover

Aug 19, 2014

In that very moment

As the morning light seeps through the window, i uncover my eyes to face what is right in front of me.

My guiding star.

But long before the arrival of this breathtakingly beautiful moment, there came first, a short and shy gaze.

The first glimpse of the unforeseen wonder caught me off guard.

If my memory serves me right, it was one of the most turbulent fractions of  my existence.

The proverbial heart spoke louder and faster than the masterful mind.

A great wave of emotion flooded my being and overwhelmed my ever so overwhelming thoughts.

I could not help but appease my hopeless romantic nature by letting it bathe in the moment.

I encouraged the fantasy. I encouraged the happiness. I encouraged myself.

But the wonder and glee was cut short by an unexpected disconnection from that which took hold of my affection.

After twice of forever, a few cycles spent without sensation and emotion,

and a jar of sweets, fate was generous once more.

The sky cleared. The storms ended. A star filled night sky was put on view.

Among the multitude of bright and twinkling lights was one that shined brighter than the sun.

My guiding star.

It led me through the darkest roads.

It gave me comfort in times of uncertainty.

It warmed my cold existence.

It brought me back to life.

Until one precious day, while writing about the wonders of this star, it dawned on me…

This is not just a star. This is my reality. My inspiration.

And now, the one i hold dear.

I feverishly built a stone staircase with words and thoughts.

I encouraged myself to dream once more.

I dared to hope.

Slowly, i rebuilt my being from the ground up. I placed one brick over the other without looking up.

Before i knew it, my inspiration was within my reach. All i had to do is leap for it with arms wide open.

The breathtakingly beautiful moment has arrived…

I stared for what seemed like an eternity.

I can hear my heart pounding and thrashing inside my chest.

My throat was dry..

My thoughts were scattered and senseless.

I peered into the windows of the soul.

And in one clumsy bound, i stretched my arms and grabbed the moment.

I fell.

Like a heavy cannon ball

I fell…

Into warmth and tenderness.

In that very moment, I found Happiness.

And happiness, still today, it brings.

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-p.hoover

Free Writing

Free writing… It’s been a while. I got so caught up with my short story that i have almost forgotten how fulfilling it is to write about something and nothing. Anything and everything. I’ve been working on “A Grey Heart” for quite a while now. I feel like it has been my bread and butter since i started it. Some people were really hooked by the plot and the characters and that makes me feel more confident than usual. I love writing. As far as i can remember, writing has been something that i was known for. My word playing. Quotes and dialogues that would require you to read between the lines. But I’ve never really thought about bigger things such as letting people in on my works or even getting my works published. At least not until recently. Let’s just say that i got really inspired. I’ve always been contented with having finished an article/prose/poem/story. For me, it was always about satisfying my mind’s hunger – to turn my thoughts into words and engrave it on a canvas.

Before putting up this blog, i was burning through ink and paper. My notebook’s sole purpose was to carry the ideas that i have placed in them. A permanent container for my oh so intangible thoughts. I rarely used notebooks for school work. As far as I’m concerned, my thoughts mean more to me than what the teachers were making me copy on the board. And somehow, that belief/idea stuck to me like a leech. You see, my mind is more chaotic than a jungle. In a jungle, you’ll always find a leech. And once a leech latches onto you, it will stay there until you notice it. I’ve tried burning this leech of an idea. I’ve tried to be always alert and watchful. But it has a knack for latching on to me no matter what i do. My ideas and thoughts almost always gets the better of me. So I have learned to use it as a strength. I’ve learned to take advantage of it. And it has played a huge part in my journey of words and thoughts.

Some have called me a genius. Some say I’m a free spirit. Some even proposed that i write a novel. I have always been thankful for these people who keep putting me up in a pedestal. But i was never one for fame and popularity. I won’t say that i don’t want to be famous. The innate yearning to rise above and be recognized has somehow been culturally injected into almost all human beings. A few have managed to subdue this beastly urge. But it has always been there all along. And i am proud to say that I am still unconvinced that i have a need for such. I know what i want. And that is to write and write until i am satisfied. If people show interest in my works, they have the freedom to read, share or talk about it. If not, then that doesn’t really concern me at all. But it can still be a bit saddening when people don’t notice what you have so proudly introduced into this world. Again, it’s innate. I admit that I sometimes proclaim myself as a “writer/artist”. But only in front of my friends and family. Whether they agree with me or not, it’s totally up to them.

For some reason, i have always seen myself as an odd ball. I always find myself sticking out in a crowd like a sore thumb. But not physically. I don’t really know how to put it into words. Observing the world has always been my hobby. I consider myself “weird” based on the norms that society projected and engraved into the minds of people. Most of the time i catch myself in deep thought about the most peculiar things. A person eating a burger. What does it taste like for him? How does he enjoy it?Why is he holding it with only one hand? The tables are full of leftovers. His food is spilling over his plate. Doesn’t he notice that? I’m really not looking for answers. It’s more of me observing and trying to understand the thing that caught my attention. Sometimes i even think of multiple possibilities as to why certain things happen, how people would react to certain situations, where will that old lady sit when she gets on a bus. Really peculiar things. I’m that kind of weird. And I never bothered to ask myself why. Because life is more surprising and enjoyable if I leave it all to my imaginations. But i still take risk to answer certain “what if’s”. If it’s something that i really want to experience or learn about, I’d jump at the next train headed straight for that “what if”.

My mind is a scary, weird, happy, sometimes overwhelming, welcoming, and warm place. Being inside it is both freedom and captivity. I have learned to harness its wealth of knowledge and creativity. I have learned to traverse its dangers and strangeness. It shows me how life can be more fulfilling and happy. It gives me vivid ideas that are beyond belief, if not impossible. It entertains me when i’m as bored as a rock. It shows me what i want to see and how i want to see it. It is open to almost all comprehensible ideas that this world has to offer. My mind has opened my eyes to see the beauty that has always been hiding right under the soles of our feet. I am still afraid of it. But i know that it can show me more than what people have shown me. It can make me understand more than what professors/teachers tried to teach me.

“Do not fear your mind. For it is as vast as the universe and offers wondrous things. It is as majestic and insurmountable as love. All you have to do is open it. See the world. Write. Think. Speak. Express.”

Thank you for reading my mind. I hope you enjoyed the journey. 🙂

so you see..

i write, say, and do things that only a handful can seem to understand.

i venture to the farthest borders of sanity just to check if im really sane.

i imbue a single word with so much meaning and emotion that if placed together with other words, would cause chaos and mass confusion.

my humor is sometimes way beyond funny that it lands between insane and bland.

i make a rollercoaster with highly uneven proportions.

by rollercoaster i mean this thing that you’re reading right now.

though i am human, i do not see mistakes as the kind of mistake that this society has deemed it to be.

i can be an *sshole and a jerk in a blink of an eye. i can be as gentle as your regular grandfather.

i walk without giving a damn about everything while admiring the beauty of the world.

i am careless and unsharpened.

and sometimes my words would seem to not makes any sense at all.

i have a deep and wide understanding of the tip of the iceberg called life.

i say too much, but i tend to be too silent right after.

most would call me crazy.

some will call me weird.

and maybe a few would even dare to consider me as an abnormality.

a misplaced chromosome in a perfectly imperfect DNA.

i am a chink in your superficially perfect armor.

i say what i want to say even if it would sound distasteful to your ears.

especially if it is distasteful..

i create thruths about lies that you may never find out in your entire exsistence.

but i also simply tell the truth when asked about it.

my mind manipulates itself to manipulate me into manipulating you to manipulate yourself.

hence, forcing you to keep on absorbing, or at the very least, to keep on trying to absorb the meaning of these words that you are meticulously processing with your inner genius.

although you might end up with a proper conclusion as to what happened while reading this, i believe that its is to late.

because, in a very simple way, i have wasted a few minutes of your time without you even noticing it.

for this article, status, blog, rant, or whatever you call it, was simply created to pleasure my mind and to confuse or entertain yours.

or maybe just to get your attention.

whichever the case maybe, i have served my purpose. and as to what purpose i am talking about, i leave that to your inner genius’ interpretation of everything that it has processed.

“thank you for boarding flight 143. i hope you enjoyed the flight. please come again. good day!”